What a difference a year makes...

Last year, on May 7th, I was walking around with a smile plastered to my face, because I just had that "feeling". I knew we were going to get our referral. Tons of families got the phone call that day telling them that they were going to be parents. I was so happy for each and every one of them. Each referral seemed like a great victory. That evening when I realized we were not one of the families that was going to get a call, I spent the rest of the evening crying. I was so terrified that we were not going to get our referral before Vietnam adoptions ended. I felt so many emotions. The longing, fear, and overwhelming grief I felt were overwhelming. That night Logan asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day, between sniffles I said, "my baby". The next morning we woke up and went to work. I was sitting talking with a co-worker about my grief over the child I thought I would never meet when the phone rang. I said, "hello", and Logan said, "We're parents". I completely lost it! I was hysterical! He kept trying to calm me down so that he could tell me that our referral was for a baby GIRL. I just kept laughing and crying and saying, a girl?, a girl?!? I anxiously opened the forwarded e-mail from our agency and found myself staring at the most perfect baby girl I had ever seen. I printed the picture immediately and held onto it tightly for the better part of 2 weeks. I just couldn't put it down. Even after we printed out better quality pictures, I couldn't part with my grainy first picture of our baby girl. I will never forget the joy I felt on that day. We could not be more thankful for our daughter and I will spend this Mother's Day weekend thinking of everyone in Vietnam that brought our daughter to us. We are so thankful that we were chosen by the country of Vietnam to adopt this beautiful child. We are so thankful that an orphanage matched this baby with our family. We are grateful that the wonderful nannies at Lila's orphanage gave her so much love and care until we could come to her. We are so happy and thankful that Lila's birth mother loved her so much that she was able to carry her for 9 months and then make such a selfless decision for her child. We will never take that decision for granted. We are so thankful that this itty bitty girl that enters a room and fills it with her presence is our daughter. She has changed our lives and the lives of everyone she meets in such an amazing way. Having her in our life is the most amazing gift we could have ever dreamed of. We love you to the moon and back Lila Katelyn Phuong Wayne!